Saturday, May 23, 2009

where do we go from here?

Have you ever been stuck between the past and the future; that awkward moment when you're left wondering where do we go from here? That moment when the past was good, the presents great, and the future could be better. That moment that you desperately long for, but all the while fear moving towards because of the possibility that what occurs within the future could ruin what was so good about the past. Currently I find myself faced with one of these moments in which I want the better, but I am willing to be content with the good. Or am I? How do you know whether to be content with what you have or work towards achieving more? And is seeking that which is better worth risking the good? Or is life all about taking chances and having things pan out as they must?

Over the years I have come to realize that although I have control of a lot which happens within my life, my control is no comparison to the fate which guides us. Or is it faith? Either way, nature runs its course and I am just a small organism within a greater sphere working toward something beyond my control. Fear is a strong emotion and I fear failure thus, I live life hoping and wishing that my actions will be successful in preventing failure, but the more I look back on my countless efforts to prevent the heart-ache I am faced with upon failure, I realize that they are useless. Or are they? They say your gratitude determines your latitude so maybe all that I do is, in fact, worth something? But what is that something? The more I attempt to answer the questions of life, the more I am left with new unanswered questions that place me precisely back at the starting line. So again I ask where do we go from here?

p.s. i just realized that this post could be taken way out of context so never assume; just ask.

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