Monday, May 25, 2009

thats the least i can do

Today I had my Ipod on shuffle in my car and Destiny Child's Cater To You came on. Immediately, my mother said "Change that song. Nobody caters to men anymore". I stopped and thought to myself for a second, "why so bitter mom?" I decided to open up the topic for discussion during the car ride and asked why she felt it was unnecessary to cater to men. She went on the talk about how women no longer live that way and how men can do for themselves. True, right? But, I feel that nothings wrong with catering to your man. Cook, clean, back rubs. If he deserves it, he gets it. We, as women, expect guys to be chivalrous and open doors, walk us home, and fulfill our every demand. So why is it looked down upon when we're expected to return the favor? I've taken a few feminist theory based classes since I've been in college and I've come to realize that there are double standards held by a great deal of females. Women want to be treated well by their men and taken care of, but do not feel that its necessary to do the same. It's funny that my mom of a previous generation is against the idea of "taking care of your man" (for lack of better words) and I'm one hundred percent for it. Don't get me wrong, I'm no one's servant but I think it fine to do for your man. Its 2009, and I feel like a lot of us get so hung up on differing from previous generations and their ways that we lose sight of whats important. If you care for someone whats so wrong with making them happy? I wonder how other females feel and males chime in too. Leave your comments.

"fulfill your every desire, you're wish is my command. i want to cater to my man"


  1. great topic

    I'm on the fence tho. I understand what you mean by treating your man right if he treats you right etc, but I dunno. I feel like most men take advantage of women who cater to their EVERY needs and expect it all the time. Meanwhile all the chivalrous things that men do for women typically end after the first few months of dating. So I dunno I will have to think deeper about this one, but like I said great topic :)

  2. as a man, i do agree that in a real relationship that is how it should work.

    i want to do whatever i can to make my lady happy.

    and when i get the feedback from her, it results in healthy interaction and a positive relationship.

    and it's not about "oh I did this, so you need to do this for me in return" though mutual participation is naturally appreciated. it's more about both people seeking to make effort and wanting the best for the relationship and their partner.


    when a woman expects a man to do certain things and imposes that on them (happens in a lot of cases, woman getting upset man was not chivalrous in some way, i personally believe this is petty) rather than letting the man do his thing and treat and be kind in his own way (if you're instructing me to do it like i'm a child does that make me want to do it?)and simultaneously has this negative attitude towards "catering" to her man. these two qualities are what have many black women in america single and lonely. no lie. so many women believing it's no longer time to cater to your man (and hating destiny's child for that song) but he needs to man up and cater to you. interesting. i actually think that song is extremely sexy and i'm ready to do the same right back to my lady treating and caring for me like that. wake up black women or risk us quality men passing you by for another sistah that can see past the petty.

    this is not to excuse the fact that a lot of us young men stay in relationships we don't want to be in rather than ending them and in this situation generally don't give our lady the respect and effort she needs causing problems. in that case we need to man up and say sorry this isn't working.

    my 14 cents.