for my number one

mark my words. or robin thicke's.



"its your body you can yell if you want to
loud if you want to, scream if you want to
just let me love you lay right here girl dont be scared of me
give you sex therapy, give you sex therapy
its your body well go hard if you want to
as hard as you want to, soft as you want to
just let me love you lay right here i'll be your fantasy
give you sex therapy, give you sex therapy"


i am so impressed with how classy this video is and how it brought about the same "good thoughts" as trey's "invented sex".

p.s. i could have been the long legged girl in this video.

NYE plans

have a happy and safe new year everyone.

10 Ways to Bond with Your Guy During the Holidays

I ran across this Cosmo article and thought I would pass it along...

1. Do one tiny thing together each day. Our recommended option: Shower together in the morning. Not only is it a sexy way to kick-start the morning, it gives you a few moments together that are guaranteed to be relaxed.

2. Help your shopping-challenged guy get it all done. Come to his rescue and you’ll not only have a grateful man on your hands, you’ll also score more couple time. Hit the mall super-early or late (when it’s less crowded) and steer him toward appropriate gifts — and away from the remote-control cars he thinks everyone likes as much as he does.

3. Make each other playlists of songs you love right now. Listen closely as you drive from one family obligation to another; one study found that a person’s playlist can tell you a lot about him.

4. Won’t be together on the 25th? Pick a day to have a “mini Christmas.” Make a delicious dinner, open a bottle of wine, and exchange gifts. The intimate celebration will feel even more special than if you celebrated with a room full of people.

5. Ask him to write an X-rated wish list for you. Then do the same for him. It’s a great way to confess naughty desires you might be uncomfortable telling each other face-to-face.

6. Shamelessly belt out holiday tunes. Doing something ridiculous and laughing together is a great way to bring you closer. Plus, it’ll force you to stifle your inner Scrooge.

7. Pull him aside at a party and make a private toast. Creating a quiet moment in the middle of a crowd can help you reconnect when you’ve both been making the rounds.

8. Drive around just to look at Christmas lights. Not only is it pretty, but guys tend to open up more when they don’t have to make eye contact. That makes sitting side by side in the car the perfect way to trigger a meaningful talk.

9. Stay connected in high-tech ways. Text random, funny pictures as you go about your days separately, Skype via iPhone, or, if you’re apart for multiple days, use your Xbox to stream Netflix and watch the same movie at the same time. Pick a grown-up Christmas flick like Love Actually and call each other whenever you feel like commenting.

10. Save money and stay in. Pick up a couple of blobs of frozen pizza dough at the grocery store and a variety of toppings and make your own gourmet pies. To really ramp up the fun, try doing it wearing nothing but a couple of aprons. Within minutes your bodies will be covered with flour handprints.

i thought the article was cute, hope you enjoy also.

used & abused

lets redirect our attention from chris brown & rihanna to tiger woods.
domestic abuse, it can happen to ANYONE right?

well... yes. although 85-95% of domestic violence cases involve a female victim, there are the few cases in which the male is the victim.

current case up for discussion that falls into that 5-15% : Tiger Woods.

according to news sources,

"Tiger Woods got into a car wreck around 2:20am Friday morning. He wasn’t ruled as “under the influence,” so what caused him to ram into a fire hydrant less than 30 feet from his driveway?

Sources are reporting that his wife, Elin, got uber pissy with him after that story of the him cheating with some chick hit the net. She scratched his face up after a verbal argument (despite reports originally concluding the scratches came from the accident), he tried to speed away from the house, Elin chased and banged his car down with a golf club, and then the wreck occurred."

if we believe this to be true, why is it that Elin is getting much praise for her actions?

chris brown took to twitter saying this: @MechanicalDummy: the world is so onesided... case closed? just like that.

Elin ABUSED Tiger but people aren't running to every online social networking site, gossip blog, etc. to criticize her actions... instead people are saying

• succeeded at the biggest come up of the decade; reworkin their pre-nup agreement so that Elin had to stay with Tiger for 2 years (which she’s already done) to get $300 million rather than the original 10 year/$20 million agreement
  
• On a scale of 1 to chris brown I'm Elin Woods mad
• Elin has just released her own line of golf clubs.... the only clubs you can beat tiger with

i agree 100% with chris.

yes, i am aware that Tiger cheated and she acted out of vengeance but does that excuse it?

in my opinion, no. abuse is abuse and no one has the right to put there hands on another person in attempts to do harm, be they man or woman. why does this double standard still exist?

growing up, i was always told that a man should never hit a woman and i believe this to be true. but do women have the right to act abusive towards men? i don't think so but i want to know what you guys think so chime in.

CHRIStmas LIST

Most Wanted List (in order)

• Steve Madden Immense Boot in Cognac (SteveMadden.com @ $199)
  
• Marc by Marc Jacobs Stainless Steel Logo Watch: black (Saks.com @ $125)
• Marc by Marc Jacobs Totally Turnlock Pouch: Black (Saks.com @ $68)
• Marc Jacobs Lola Solid Perfume Ring (Nordstroms.com/Sephora.com/Saks.com @ $42)
• Wii System for my apartment (anywhere that sells a Wii @ $199)

this is a rough draft. ha.

boredom

things i do when i am bored

• organize my closet
  
• read old magazines
  
• paint
  
• look through all of my tagged facebook pictures
• grocery shopping
  
• word search app on my ipod
• polyvore.com
• online shopping... particularly saks
• write poetry
  
• web cam pictures of myself
  
• search new recipes online
  
• goggle calenders
  
• take on extra shifts at work
  
• makeup new cutesy nicknames for my mommy (i.e. jugga jug & kissy poo)
• make flashcards for classes
  
• plan out the next 5 yrs of my life... sometimes 10
• try new nail polishes and designs
  
• worry my boyfriend :]
  

idk.

i still don't know how i feel about this whole situation.

i find no peace

I find no peace, and all my war is done.

I fear and hope, I burn and freeze like ice, 

I fly above the wind, yet can I not arise,

And naught I have, and all the world I sieze on.

That looseth nor locketh holdeth me in prison,

ANd holdeth me not, yet I 'scape newise;

Nor letteth me live nor die at my devise, 

And yet of death it giveth me occasion. 

Without eyen I see, and without tongue I plain;

I desire to parish, and yet I ask health;

I love another, and thus I hate myself; 

I feed me in sorrow; and laugh in all my pain. 

Likewise displeaseth me both death and life,

And my delight is cause of this strife.

-Sir Thomas Wyatt the Elder

broke it down and now i appreciate it. poetry is a beautiful thing once you understand. 

art.

i only appreciate fashion when art is involved. 

#rulesofrelationships

• #ruleofrelationships make sure you have rules in a relationship. you don't wanna look back and be like "damn, smh"
  
• #ruleofrelationships don't claim you're wifey material and then act otherwise
  
• #ruleofrelationships NEVER say it unless you mean it... the worst thing to have in a relationship is REGRET
  
• #ruleofrelationships remember that sideline hoes r nothin more than bench warmers... wishin & hopin to get in the game but it never happens
  
• #ruleofrelationships FB is just FB... dont treat it as your personal relationship investigator/detective. the ish you see on FB is nothing more than ish 
  
• #ruleofrelationships get to know your significant other deeper than what you can find in their "about me" section of facebook
  
• #ruleofrelationships ladies, if you got a good man, hold on to him tight. recognize that he's good and ignore all the outside bullshit
  
• #ruleofrelationship cater to your man... they like to feel special to. cook, clean, back rub, new position. ha.
  
• #ruleofrelationships never push a specific agenda in a relationship. let that shit naturally develop & grow. it'll be worth it in the end
  
• #rulesofrelationships never question who's writing on your bf's wall... 9/10 its just some female tlkin to herself. ha
  
• #rulesofrelationships don't get advice from your friend who's relationship is NOT working
  
• #rulesofrelationships accept that person for everything they are and everything they aren't
  
• #rulesofrelationships memorize at which point in the month she gets her cycle. it'll explain alot 
  
• #rulesofrelationships be in tuned with each others needs and fulfill any wants in the process
  
• #rulesofrelationships keep it spicy, updated, and fun 
  
• #rulesofrelationships grow together 
  
• #rulesofrelationships Know a woman's worth
  

 i'm no expert.

JC

since the day i stepped foot into Need & Supply Co. and purchased my first pair of Jeffery Campbell shoes 4 years ago, i have been in love. his shoes are an embodiment of the work of a genius. no one does shoes like Jeffrey Campbell does shoes. i will wear a pair of his shoes until the sole wears off, no matter how many times my mother attempts to get me to throw them out. ladies, if you want fashionable shoes that are ultra comfy, seek Jeffrey. 

p.s. his shoes are heaven sent, its no coincidence that his initials are JC

shut up chick, swallow

Study: Fellatio may significantly decrease the risk of breast cancer in women

"Women who perform the act of fellatio and swallow semen on a regular basis, one to two times a week, may reduce their risk of breast cancer by up to 40 percent, a North Carolina State University study found."

when i first read this, i couldn't help but wonder what made the researchers at North Carolina State University initially hypothesis this and then actually experiment.

sorry

double major with two jobs.
will make time soon.

thoughtful food

“When I was a young person, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. When I found I couldn’t change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn’t change the town, and as an older person, I tried to change my family. Now, as an old person, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world.”

--An Unknown Monk, 1100 A. D.

my lip gloss is poppin

just finished catching up on all that i missed during the VMAs and still can't seem to get myself together. the awards showcased nothing but pure buffoonery, including lady ga ga's insanely unfathomable nightmare before christmas/the wizard of oz costumes and performance, kanye's liquid courage unscripted (?) out roar during T. Swift's acceptance speech, Beyonce's 25th millionth pants-less performance that reminded us all that her body is by far the hottest, and Wale's dehydrated sway and breathless mumbles due to his inability to sit during the hours his was standing on stage under hot light in that hot ass jacket... but what stood out amongst all the above mentioned nonsense was LIL MAMAS unannounced appearance during one of the best performances of the night. despite the fact that i don't know her, she really does scream "attention hungry annoying muskrat girl" whenever i see her. did she not measure the fame level and untouched caliber of the two artist (Jay-Z and A. Keys) already on stage and think to herself, "i don't meet the requirements... i don't fit in"? obviously NOT. because she felt it was okay to "shoulder lean" her drag-queening ass onto stage. as an everyday girl, with fame that doesn't extend far past the next chick's lip smacking nonsense, i am well aware of when i am not welcomed or disliked by others. with outlets like twitter, myspace, and facebook and the mere fact that she is a "celebrity" (d-listers do count), you would think that lil mama would realize that she is always DOING THE MOST and learn to act accordingly.

after her unwelcomed cameo, all of twitter was buzzing about a particular trending topic and i couldn't help but to share: #lilmamais

• @TaraKnowaItAl #lilmamais jayz's 99th problem
• @Tiff_Jerz2ATL #lilmamais AAHHHH Real Monsters!
• @TLtheAries #lilmamais not covered under Obama's health care plan
• @Naveen_Ishh #lilmamais the reason why the plan b pill is over the counter now.
• @bkjamdown1 #lilmamais the little engine that couldn't
  
• @nursekaren #lilmamais the best mama joke ever!
• @beatroc #lilmamais at the bar right now with Kanye talking bout "man, you know we f**ked up"

bahahha... those all gave me the good laugh that i needed. but in all seriousness, i feel bad now for encouraging the "going in" sessions on lil mama. ready to go to sleep and say my prayers. hope you all enjoyed this year's video music awards... definitely entertaining.

achieved.

today, as i was editing my layout for "lets go little kitty kat", i came across a blog that i posted a few months back which included my to-do list for summer 09. unfortunately, i didn't complete everything on my list, but the most important items are definitely checked off... take a look.

1. buy and wear grey nail polish [CHECK]
   
2. new car [CHECK]
3. become official [CHECK]
4. get back on top of my surfing game
5. photoshoots like shit [CHECK]
6. read Kaffir Boy and Black Boy again [CHECK]
7. see Hannah Montana movie on DVD [CHECK]
8. spend lots of quality time with him [CHECK]
9. start to change my style... less girly, more edgy (we'll see how this goes) [CHECK]
10. take care of my hair because it always gets damaged during the summer months [CHECK]
11. take out that sick ass sewing machine i had to have and actually put it to use
12. work on my singing skills
13. tan, tan, and more tan [CHECK]
14. learn how to bake my own pound cake
15. wii fit while drunk [CHECK]
16. kayaking lessons
17. good concert(s) [CHECK]
18. save money... instead of spending all that i have [CHECK]
19. continue working out in the gym [CHECK]
20. and plan for the best fashion show that will be taking place in fall 09 [CHECK]

happy to know that i can look back on my summer and pin point the meaningful things i did, rather than recalling long bummy days and night. going to work on #4, #11, #12, #16. but in the meantime, i'm in the process of setting goals for the fall... will update you all.

feng shui

in the house the decor is obvious obscure

its clearly the theory of less is more

a plant. a pet. and books on the shelf.

and a frame on the wall where you can picture yourself.

and you're welcome to stay.
but even your company must compliment
the feng shui.

task at hand: acquiring a sense of feng shui in my new place... i've moved all of that into a room about 1/3 of its size and it doesn't quite feel like home yet. so many problems coming in to my place & i desire a space in which i can escape and feel at peace no matter what. any suggestions on developing a sense of home-away-from-home?

subscribe to this month's issue

haven't decided if i will go check this out tomorrow or not. i'm in the less-than-glamorous charlottesville where the movie theater is months behind and i feel like the movie calls for me to be dolled up in dark skinnies, a loose fitted beige v-neck tee, and some jeffrey campbell heels, surrounded by other model chicks, and in a fashionable city (i.e. NY). why i'm not at fashion week? i don't know.

why?

i never understood people who are so anti-something but everytime you turn around they are going on and on about how

• wack
• sketch
• stupid
• mainstream
• annoying
• unimpressive
• etc.

that something is. in all honesty, you come off as an undercover obsessed psycho-maniac. personally, if I didn't like something like MTV for example, I wouldn't make it my business to bad talk MTV every chance I get. your opinion really isn't that important. if you don't like something, you don't like it. but must you remind the world whenever you get a chance. the simple fact that you put so much energy into discussion of this thing that you don't like makes it seem like you, in fact, secretly love it. so next time you are anti-something, approach it in a logical way. if you really don't like MTV thats fine but don't bring up MTV in every other breath you take (make sure you actions are in accordance with your words). thank you.


listening to: nerd- anti-matter
reading: henry james- daisy miller

such a effing multitasker :]

TRESemme

TRESemme. TRESemme. Ouu La La.

hair update:
i am about a month into my new healthy hair spree. ends have been trimmed. strands have been deep conditioned. and that lovely wide tooth comb has detangled the knots. as for growth... some have noticed more length, but that could simply be attributed to the fact that they haven't seen me in the last 3 months. next style: roller set.

i live for this.

back at the university of virginia.
busy schedule. awesome classes.

discovered my nitch. english is the new second major. so trendy. everyone's doing it. english professors are far better than the people they have over in the psychology department. of course, i still have lots of courses dealing with african american studies for that good ole AAS major. ultimate plan: dominate the world. well not quite, but, definitely write for a top magazine. columbia university graduate school of journalism maybe?

sorry.

i'll be back soon...

stop the world.

let the world rage outside, cause when i'm here with you
the world stops for me, the world stops for me
-Maxwell

vey-key-shuhn

va⋅ca⋅tion

/veɪˈkeɪʃən, və-/ Show Spelled Pronunciation[vey-key-shuhn]
–noun
a period of suspension of work, study, or other activity, usually used for rest, recreation, or travel; recess or holiday

sorry for the lack of posts recently. i was on vacation with my baby. i'm back physically but, still there mentally. look out for new posts very soon.

black barbie.

after finding about Franca Sozzani's ingenious black barbie issue of italian vogue, a spin off from the successful july 2008 all black issue, i was inspired to write a post dedicated to all the black barbies in my life [and somewhat distant].

• my mother. my heart. my soul. and everything in between. shes my everything and i wouldn't be the person i am today with out her. in my opinion, she exudes what a true black barbie is because shes both beautiful and strong. she inspires all those around her and truly has and will continue to make an impact on the world.
  
• my two litte sisters. lawren & larelle. although we fuss. fight. and argue all the time. they are my road dogs and the sunshine in my life.
  
• my aunt. thalia. she's such an oprah wanna-be but shes both loving and caring and those are qualities that i admire and appreciate.
  
• my granny and momma rose. such beauties. with such grace. i'm glad i inherited their genes.
  
• god sisters. the twins. kelsey & kristal. they're such happy young ladies & i've always looked up to them.
  
• ms. karen. she hooks my hair up. she always calls me wack, but i forgive her. how many young ladies do you know with a master's degree in psychology & a cosmetology license???
• chanel iman. she doesn't know this, but i love her. shes just so beautiful and gives off such great vibes.
• yvonne vera. read a novel written by her and you'll understand why. r.i.p.
• whitney b. warner. most fashionable girl i know. such a sweetheart. everyone should have a friend like her.
  
• shannon dolphin. another sweetheart with so much talent.
  
• selam a. this girl is amazing. definitely a future ceo.
  
• joyner j. how can you not appreciate someone who always speaks the truth? love her.
  
• rachel. such wisdom at such a young age.
  
• kendall. maybe one of the sweetest girls i know.
• safiya. such creativity. future roomie.

there are more but here are just a few who've crossed my mind lately. love you all if you're reading this.

you asked for it...

many have taken offense to this commerical for one of those "text you question to..." companies in which a common sterotype about african american women is depicted... unfortunately, all i can do is laugh at this commercial because sadly, it is the truth. your "natural" weave did in fact come from that little billie goat/yak in the yard... claim it, love it, wear it. lls.




p.s. take note of the asian lady in the background doing nails...

and always remember that stereotypes are based on reality... no they do not apply to all but they are not 100% false

cross my fingers, hope to die

i saw this and immediately thought of us.

if it had not been.

if it had not been for the
spur of the moment, extra courageous
outburst of desperation,

would you and me together forever
be more than just a figment of my imagination.

would this never felt this way feeling be felt
thanking god endlessly for the hand which i was dealt.

would so good be so good or simply second rate
a sucker for love i willingly fell victim to your bait.

tender pleasant union of soft protrudes adored
daily build up of allegiance carefully stored.

shamelessly loving that which does not know
that a seasons passing made more than just the trees grow.

this part is called love.

1/2 year challenge

2 years later & i still haven't forgiven myself for chopping off all of my hair...

its grown back at an impressive rate (i guess) but i'm still not satisfied. after reading the Anti-Hair Slave blog for the last couple of months, i have lots of new knowledge on how to properly take care of my hair. starting Aug. 1, i will be undergoing a hair growth challenge. the average person's hair, when taken care of, grows about 1/2 inch each month. my hair grows a bit quicker than the average person... probably 1 inch a month. i get my ends trimmed every 6 weeks... so i'm thinking that with normal wear & tare on hair... i can expect about 5 inches by February. we'll see.

here is a current picture:


lets hope this works.

ms. long hair, don't care.

this is my boyfriend's idea.

lets make this as simple as possible and cut straight to the point...ladies, stop your whining. lately it seems like every female around me is complaining about how hard it is to find a significant other. i like to play devil's advocate so its only right that i begin by stating that LADIES, you are, in fact, the problem. let's be real for a second... on numerous occasions i've sat and listened to girls cry and whine about how they're just no good men and in the same breath they prove to me why they're alone.

for starts, a lot of females seem to think they're entitled to a good man. is that right girl? psssh please... you can't be serious when you say you want a "good" man, but you bring nothing to the plate. i know females who once were in a relationship with "good" men/boys, but as a result of their own actions, they brought about the demise of the relationship. constant nagging, jealous spirited ways, lack of trust, princess mentality. in all honesty, none of these qualities are going to keep someone worth keeping around for long. i thank god that i naturally developed what i call "good girlfriend syndrome". they're rules to maintaining a good relationship:

• rule #1: don't question your significant others every move. trust serves as the substance and foundation of any relationship therefore, a relationship without trust is nothing more than in culmination of shattered dreams.
  
• rule #2: leave your jealous ways behind. its not a good look. jealousy shows insecurity and insecurity is a weakness that will push any man away. i always say to myself "i'm beautiful and smart with a great personality... who's competing?" recognize whats special about you and keep reminding yourself.
  
• rule #3: throw some dryer sheets into your relationship and "de-cling". become over attached in a relationship could be a bad thing... especially early on.
  
• rule #4: let things progress naturally: don't push a certain agenda or force anything thats not occurring on its on.

anyways, i'm no expert so if you are reading this post a comment letting myself and other readers know what rules you feel should be in a relationship.

until next time...
adios

is your mom pregnant?

currently my mom has 3 kidneys... a good one, a bad one, and an ugly one. when she went into kidney failure a few years ago, by the grace of god, she was blessed with a live & healthy kidney. at the time of the kidney replacement (or rather addition), doctors decided not to remove the non-functioning kidneys for fear of increased chances of complications and infection. at an early age my mother was diagnosed with polycystic kidney disease. PKD is a genetic disorder characterized by the growth of numerous cysts in the kidneys. Unfortunately, the cysts in my mother's old kidneys have continued to grow until the point that here kidneys have gone from the standard 115 grams to a mind blowing 25 pounds. of course, as you can imagine... carrying around two 20+ pound kidneys is like carrying around sextuplets (6 damn babies)... her ribs have been stretched until breaking point & all of the lining of her abdomen which keeps her intestines and other organs in tact has completely ripped. tomorrow one of those kidneys will be removed and my mothers abdominal wall will be repaired. she's happy to know that she'll only be carrying around triplets after the surgery. lol. anyways, i'm asking everyone out there to pray for a successful surgery and speedy recovery. i'm so on edge now because i know this is a major surgery and i just want others to aid me in praying for her. thanks.

you can have whatever you like yeahhhhh

so now that i know my readership is growing & growing, i would like to know what you all want to read about. i try my best to avoid repeating what you would see on every other blog so make sure your suggestions are creative. you can leave them as a comment under this post and hopefully i can address your topic in a manner that satisfies you. thanks!

Baby Lamé

most ridiculous thing i've seen in quite some time...

American Apparel now sells shiny leggings in kids' sizes... this makes me so uncomfortable.

why can't kids just be kids? they're growing up way too fast.

i work at a summer camp and i am responsible for 8, 9, and 10 year boys and i have so many "smh" moments when around them. they peek under the little girls' skirts, they know every word to "birthday sex", and they talk to me like i'm their counterpart. i d k what the deal is.

usually i place all the blame on the parents because i've always felt they had the most influence in kids' lives but i'm now beginning to think otherwise....

its bad ass kids corrupting the angels. i have a little boy in my group who was the sweetest most kind kid on the first few days of camp but is now the spawn of devil... in attempt to make friends with the other boys. jesus, lord, god... help guide that generation in the right direction because i've seen some scary things.

anyways todays been a not so good day... i'm tired, sun burned, hungry, and MJ passed.

signing off until next time [toria malia]

so you know i want to ri-i-i-i-ide out

As much as I hate to admit this, I am a magazine junky. And of the many magazines that I escape into for hours, Cosmopolitan, is by far one of my favorites. For any one who has yet to flip through the glossy informational pages of Cosmo, basically the magazine serves as a sex-guide for all women (and possibly a sex guide for all the smart men who want to know how to "properly" please a female). I've been reading the magazine for about 2 years now and every issue there is some mention of the male's favorite sexual position.

Rap music has brain washed some into thinking that all men prefer to "hit it from the back", but according to recent sex surveys, woman-on-top is by far the preferred way to do it (no pun intended). To my surprise, although men enjoy this position quite a bit and it is said to be quite pleasurable for females also, many couples or not-so-much couples don't engage in the woman-on-top act. Why might this be?

My take on the whole situation is that it brings discomfort to both men and women, not physically speaking of course. Woman shy away from the thought of being placed into a domineering role in the bedroom and aren't quite sure if they're "doing it right" and bringing pleasure to their man. And men shy away from the idea of laying on their backs, making themselves submissive to the female.

According to experts, all things good come out of the woman-on-top experience (when done right). Woman-on-top allows for the male to easily access the females spot (and what woman doesn't want this?). One of the biggest complaints from men concerning their bedroom experiences is that they feel "they do all the work"... with this being said, ladies' give your man the "night off" and get to working. Men and women both will walk away happy so take a chance and like Jeremiah said in his hit single Birthday Sex, "ri-i-i-ide out". And for all people who have a great deal of experience with this position, here are some "different" takes on it (via cosmo) that will hopefully spice things up:

• thigh master: 'if you’re bored with the standard woman-on-top pose, this position is a fun, frisky way to mix things up. Your guy lies on his back, one leg outstretched and the other bent, knee pointing upward. You straddle his body sideways with your back turned slightly to his face, hold on to his knee, and lower yourself onto his penis. In this pose, your stomach is almost touching his bent knee; use it for support and leverage as you rock back and forth, and up and down'
• the love seat: 'tell your partner to lie back, propping up his head and shoulders with a pillow, and have him spread his legs slightly. While you're facing the same direction — your back is to his face — lower yourself onto his hardened penis. Put your feet between his legs on the floor or the bed. Take your right hand and place it on his right hip bone and your left hand on the bed next to his left hip bone. Use your hands and feet to move your body up and down on his shaft'
• row his boat: 'your partner slouches down in a comfy but sturdy chair, his legs slightly spread. You straddle his lap as you face him, your knees bent and open against his chest, your feet braced against the seat of the chair. While your guy grips your hips, thighs, or butt, you clutch the back of the chair and begin moving up and down along his shaft'
  

for detailed tutorials, animated pictures, and the reasons why this positions are desired, check out cosmopolitan.com and search under the 'sex position of the day' section.

"shawty is a rida..."

p.s. shame on me for promoting lil wayne's nonsense

-toria malia

ctw.

...reunited and it feels so good.

7 deadly sins

so after watching this interview with pharrell williams about his sculpture in which he collaborated with takashi murakami and jacob the jeweler, i began to think about 7 things which i can not live without.

here are my lists:

important things:

• family: the essence of my being. the people who make life worth living.
  
• love: i'm a sucker for love. definitely a love, not a fighter.
  
• education: i'm a nerd; i love school.
  
• peace of mind: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyOhUXsGqak (not the song but the concept)
  
• music: good stuff.
  
• sunshine: tans, summer, long warm nights; love love love it.
  
• simplicity/organization: neat freak, borderline OCD.
  

objects/items:

• cardigans: anemic and always cold so i live for cardigans. i don't think i've gone a whole day without wearing one. even in the summer.
  
• pound cake: ukrops pound cake or my aunt's recipe; both for the win!
  
• caffeine (diet coke/ starbucks): self explanatory.
  
• non reality television (hannah montana/ desperate housewives): i hate "i love ____" or "for the love of ___ " shows
  
• victoria secret's pink collection: ;-)
  
• flip flops: tried wearing them throughout the winter, but my mom quickly reminded me that i'm not white. lls.
  
• mixtapes: keep me company during long lonely nights.

what 7 things show up on your list?

-toria malia

as told by kanye

Kanye West, being the fashionable man that he is, was asked by men.style.com to name the top 10 fashion essentials for men. of course the list is full of both over the top, top-dollar items and classics that match any budget...

1. HEATHER-GRAY BALMAIN T-SHIRT
2. BLACK AIR YEEZYS
3. DARK-BROWN RRL JEANS IN SLIM BOOT CUT
   
4. IPOD NANO, IPHONE, MACBOOK AIR WITH AIRCARD
5. VINTAGE LEVI'S JEAN JACKET
6. BLACKED-OUT ROLEX SUBMARINER
7. CALVIN KLEIN BOXER BRIEFS
8. LANVIN SEERSUCKER DINNER JACKET
9. LOUIS VUITTON MONOGRAMOUFLAGE KEEPALL
   
10. RETRO SUPER FUTURE FLAT-TOP SUNGLASSES

for pictures and direct quotes from kanye about why he choose these items, check out: http://men.style.com/fashion/10_essentials/060309

-toria malia

green with envy

once upon a time i thought of jealousy as a trait exclusive to females, but as i get older and come in contact with more and more males i've drawn the conclusion that guys do in fact display jealous ways. i will not go as far as to say that its just as wide-spread amongst males as it is with females and nor will i say that the jealously is to the same degree but, there is no doubt that it is present. i have a friend, of the xy chromosome make-up, who is quite jealous natured. i can't help but to see him in a feminine light simply because i equated jealously to females (as a result of numerous encounters both direct and indirect with jealous females) for such a long period of time. there seems to be a new epidemic in which bitch as niggas (excuse my use of this term) are running ramped. i'm well aware of the fact that generally guys are extremely competitive, but since when do guys go around talking about the next guy behind his back in a beyond manipulative way in hope of dimming his shine??? nothings worse than a guy that results to bitchassness due to his inability to compete. so the next guy can dress better than you, hoop better than you, and his girl looks better than yours, but why not step your game up and work towards obtaining that which you seek rather than knocking someone else success??? its disgusting in my opinion.


p.s. i don't condone jealousy amongst females either, but i thought i would discuss the males since it seems to be a growing trend. let me know what you think.

-toria malia

posers.

"If someone wants to copy you, they're immediately revealing themselves as a weak competitor. If a rival sets out to mimic you they're inevitably 2 or 3 months behind you and they're not the kind of dynamic, inventive personality who is likely to present a real challenge."

lately i've been trying to weed through the people in my life, discover who's real, and get rid of the counterfeits. nothing upsets me more than a carbon copy; someone who can't think for them self. take a second and stop to think about the most creative and original person you know. now stop and think about the many people you know that try to imitate that person. how wonderful would the world be if everyone was their own person? life would be all the more interesting. instead, "different" is now a trend; people strive to take and label others style, demeanor, and ways as their own. its quit sickening personally. we all have minds, unique to every single one of us, but very few of us take it upon ourselves to explore the possibilities of one's self.

furthermore, the one thing that irritates me more than a sub-par carbon copy is a person who imitates another, but claims their style, demeanor, and/or ways to be exclusively theirs. i can think of so many people who live by these unjust ways. they discover a new artist, a new clothing label, or a new spot via someone else and swear to god that they were the first person to run across this new, great discovery when in actuality they're nothing more than a Christopher Columbus. smh.

anyways, as always, i encourage all to be themselves. don't love something simply because your neighbor likes it. you might just surprise yourself with how innovative, creative, or different you own ideas are.

-toria malia

summer style.

Summer seems to be the one time of the year in which the possibilities concerning fashion are limitless. Unrestricted by the cold, bitter winter, one can fully express themselves through their clothing. The summer months are both hot and refreshing, free and structured, long and short; and the same holds true for summer fashion. The trends of the spring have leaked over into the summer and are revamped, altered, and taken to a whole new level. There is so much to be said about summer fashion and I don't want to leave anything uncovered: beach wear, accessories, shoes, fabrics, colors... all the latest, hot styles are brought to you by me.

• The summer is all about beaches, pools, and lounging around in swim wear so it’s important that you're gear is on point. The one shoulder, new to swimwear, standouts and is sure to complement any body type. One shoulder bikinis, one pieces, and tankinis have surfaced all over and are here to stay. The one shoulder, in any color, print, or style, is sure to set you apart as the hottest beach babe this summer. Along with the one shoulder swimsuit, bondage swim wear has made its debut. Pioneered by the hype surrounding Herve Ledger's strappy bondage dresses this spring, this trend in swimwear mirrors. This sexy trend in swimwear is perfect for all divas ready to make a bold fashion statement this summer. Guys, this season go for printed beach wear. And by prints, I don't mean the tropical, Hawaiian print trunks we see every summer; this summer it’s all about stripes, plaids, and other bold geometric prints. This season's trends in swim wear are far from simple so get creative with them and explore that which hasn't been done before.

• For the ladies, your accessories this season should resemble arts and crafts projects. Big, colorful, and gaudy should all be on your accessory check list. Marc Jacobs and Valentino mastered the art of craftiness with their summer jewelry collections. In terms of handbags, the name says it all. This season, large hand held clutches are all the rave. Functional for the summer and fashionable at the same time, large clutches will complement any outfit this summer. Retro sunglasses are in style for both men and women. Metal frame and thick framed shades are hot looks for this summer that'll have you looking like the superstar that you are. Another trend in accessories for men, that tried to make its way into the hands of men all over a few years ago, was the man bag. The key to mastering this trend is keeping it simple. Solid, neutral color bags, not too big and not too small are sure to be a good look this season for all the fashion-savvy guys. Just remember keep your accessories updated and fun and you'll be fine.

• Sandals are always a popular staple amongst summer footwear for the ladies and this season the more flat the sandal, the better. Whether strappy or simple, completely flat sandals are the way to go. Along with being super cute, flat sandals are ultra-comfortable and perfect for summer days on the beach and summer nights out with your friends. Also, collar sandals are making their way onto the fashion scene and are a must have for ladies this summer. Instead of the typical ankle straps, these sandals have a collar which is both fun and fashionable and sure to make others look with envy. For the guys, this season's footwear is simple and classic. Four words: I'm on a boat. This season’s go-to shoe for guys is the always dependable, always stylish boat shoe. Whether the classic Sperry or the updated boat shoe by Vans, the boat shoe is perfect for this season. Along with boat shoes, Clae shoes are a must for stylish guys this summer. Simple, light weight and in all the hottest colors for the season, the Clae collections are sure to have something to match your own personal style.

• The difference between that which is hot and that which is not lies within fabrics. Often overlooked, fabric is the one thing that can "make it" or "break it". This season, designers really stepped outside of their element and explored fabrics not commonly used for the summer months. Many designers have decided to get fancy and use silk as their staple fabric for their summer collections. Seen all throughout Matthew Williamson's capsule collection for H&M, this luxurious fabric is one that is sure to make you shine whether you're at a concert or out on a date during the upcoming long summer nights. Burlap, also known as the cloth used to make potato sacks, has been upgraded and made fashionable this season. Designers like Miu Miu and Burberry, have revamped this coarse and heavy material into something beautiful for the summer. Burlap has been used for handbags, dresses, shoes, and much more so be sure to find the look which is right for you so that you can be rocking the latest trend in fabric for the season.

• As always, color is a big part of fashion and this season two unexpected colors have stood out on the color wheel. Seen from catwalk to catwalk, beige and orange are definitely the colors of the season and now it’s time to bring them to the streets. Beige: Some argue that it is not really a color, but this season it is making a bold statement as the hottest color on the pallet. Springing up as a color to be reckoned with in last summer's "safari" themed collections, beige has made its way into 2009's fashion full-force. On all the hottest catwalks, this faint color stood out as the most powerful and beautiful color used for this season's many designs. Known as a natural color, beige fits in with the bohemian and tribal looks of the season and therefore, is perfect. Another color of this season is the traffic stopping orange. It's red and yellow undertones complement the summer's atmosphere so nicely and that's why this earthy and summery hue should be included in your wardrobe. Burnt orange, vitamin C orange, carrot orange, and orange peel orange are all acceptable hues for this season. Both warm and happy, this color is perfect for the upcoming summer months.

Summer and fashion have a lot in common so be sure to explore the similarities amongst the two and use them to help guide you to fashion bliss.

-Toria Malia